Taking on responsibility..

.... as a never-ending mission in life

The question as to who is responsible for something is one that is often debated. Whether in a political scenario, in the case of accidents or in disputes. People are often concerned about getting to the bottom of the cause. They also like to be right. And in many cases do not wish to accept responsibility.

There are good and ingenious ways of passing on responsibility, the best is to be a child. But you cannot go on doing this for ever of course, so you have to look for someone else who is responsible. This could be the boss or a colleague, doctors and even one’s own children. Perhaps it is the tax consultant or the weather. This works outstandingly well in many minor situations. Up to a certain degree we call this the division of labour or employee development. Unfortunately, the moment always comes when there is no one left to take the responsibility for us.

Usually just when we are feeling down, when we are suffering or when our thoughts have gone off at a negative target. And when we have realised that even the coach, the great consultant, the counsellor or friend cannot help us. Such a person now stands all alone and there is no one else to take responsibility other than him/herself. The rise of opposition to the employer, politicians, illness or to the unfairness of life is often the result. Even the most adult of persons will revert to an act of defiance or become resigned when trying to manage everything.

And comes to the conclusion that he/she is responsible for many things but not for many others, that he/she is alone but all the others are as well. That working hard, receiving assurances and coaching or a glass of beer can help to a certain extent, but even so make sense in part. And ultimately that the responsibility one bears for something as an adult person is absolute and cannot be delegated.

Our own thoughts no matter what happens, no matter what dilemma we are caught up in, our own thoughts are our responsibility. Of course the resulting feelings and actions are too. But everything starts with our thoughts. Self-control, developing a conscious attitude towards things is a core element of coaching.

A tip from the coach: take five minutes a day to monitor your own thoughts: What am I thinking? Do I want to think this way? What are my thoughts doing to me? Do I want to change my thoughts?

Important: we are not concerned here with what other people do, with which trigger leads to which thoughts, but rather more with what I consciously wish to choose and can choose. Because I am an adult and responsible person. The attitude is away from: “He made me do such and such" or “My illness made me do such and such" and towards "I deliberately chose to think such and such".